Trolls Aren’t Bright Enough to Start Quarrels… … Or Use the Internet.
Trolls are usually seen as huge, monstrously strong, very slow, and quite unpleasant. Although recently some humans have taken their name. They tend to have huge horns, and long hair, but some are also made entirely of living stone. The term troll seems to be a catch all for huge unnameable, slow monstrosity that lives in the Forrest
Trolls live in isolated caves, usually as a small family group. They are unfriendly to mankind and have been known to eat humans. The older trolls are known to be solitary, as trolls never stop growing with age and can become the size of a mountain range. When they get to that size though, they are so heavy that each movement is very difficult, so they tend to fall into a deep Millenia long sleep. Due to their tendency of turning into stone when exposed to direct sunlight, the smaller trolls are frightened of bright light. The larger ones however are usually so covered in plant materiel that you cannot really tell what they are. Despite their famed stupidity, Trolls have been known, in the past, to engage in asking riddles of humans, usually putting the human under pressured conditions, as well. This hints at trolls being in fact not stupid, but just operating on a geological time scale that normal humans couldn’t comprehend.
Trolls are said to turn to stone upon contact with bright sunlight, so bright lights can be a deterrent, otherwise try not to look tasty… if a big one decides to eat you, you do not have much of a chance apart from luring him into full sunlight.
The villagers of Middle Leet tell a tale of what happened to the son of one of their past mayors.
The boy, Lentus,and his dog had been up early, lantern fishing in their coracle and had caught three big perch. He had then pulled up his boat and tethered it to a big rock, and leaving his dog in the boat to guard the fish. He headed into the woods to check his rabbit snares. When he returned to his boat, however, he realised that the boulder that he had tied it too, was in fact, a troll. This troll was feeling mighty insulted about having a boat tied to it. Lentus’ little dog was doing its best to keep the troll from eating the fish in the boat. The dog was a little faster than the troll, so it was a managing to keep out of his reach. The fish situation was getting close, however.
Lentos, shocked, shouted and ran at the small troll waving his lantern. The troll surprised backed away and the boy managed to save his dog.
The troll grumbled at the boy: “you have tied a boat to me. Your dog has woken me with its barking, and now you come with lights and stop me from eating my fill.”
Lentus attempted to apologise and explain that it was all an accident, but the troll was not happy with this. The troll snatahced the boys coracle and his night’s catch, along with his nets and gear still tied to it. “Since you have stolen my rest and my dinner
, I will take your dinner and boat. This is fairness”. This was his family’s only coracle and Lentus knew that if it was stolen his father would have great difficulty replacing it. So he begged the troll if there was a way to see through this. The troll considered this: “If you can answer my riddle wrong I will get to keep the boat, and eat you and your dog, if you answer it correctly you may go free”. As the troll spoke, Lentus noticed the pale fingers of dawn start to creep across the mountain tops, and he thought of a plan.
“I agree to this. Please ask me your riddle”. The trolls grinned with teeth of diamond and asked: “Ripped from my mother’s womb, beaten and burned I become a bloodthirsty killer, who am I?”
This was understandably not a pleasant riddle to hear from a creature whose teeth could crush a whole deer with little to no effort. Lentus considered this, running through his thoughts desperately as the morning sun crawled over the mountains. “Um may I ask for a clue, oh rocky one?”
The trolls scratched its chin “I think not, it would be too easy for you, it is a very easy riddle anyway”,
“Not all of us are as wise as you are, and it is my life that is at stake. I would like some kind of clue”.The troll grinned cackling to itself, “You clearly do not know the answer manchild, I get to eat you now!” Lentus spurred on by terror shouted “iron, my answer is iron!” The troll was not very happy about this. It growled, “That was too easy. I will still eat you”. It started to shamble over to Lentus, who looking over his shoulder at the slow morning light coming down the mountain. He begged: “How about another riddle? If you win you get to eat me, the dog, the fish and my little sister?” The troll seemed a little surprised by this.“But if I win I get to go free with all of my belongings, Lentus continued. “Are you not fond of your little sister?” “No, said Lentus, she is awfully bratty” . The troll laughed, “alright, here is another one: “it is greater then god, more evil then the devil, the poor have it the rich need it, if you eat it you will die, what is it?”
By now, the dawn was in full bloom. The golden Light was racing down the mountain sides towards the lake valley, a Lentus only had to drag this out a little longer, and boy did he! He ummed and ahhhed and finally, as the troll began to lose patience, Lentus hesitantly said “nothing?”. The troll was very outraged by this and leapt at the boy snarling, just as the light silently touched them. There was a silence as the birds sang and the troll had truly turned into a boulder. Lentus collapsed onto his back panting with fear and hugging his dog, thanking whatever gods he could think of for his plan working. He then picked up his coracle and raced as fast as he could to the safety of his small village.
